I ended my last post on How Long Does it Take to Get to Maine by suggesting that the trip needed to be completed in less than two hours. I don’t know why I felt this way, but it holds true even today. If we can’t make the trip in two hours or under, we’re not making “good time.” More on this in a later post.

Back to the story at hand. My car at the time of this trip was a BMW 325is. A very nice, sporty, two door coupe that had a little kick to it and would get up and go when you wanted it to. One of the features I really liked was the on-board trip computer. Amongst its many functions, this trip computer would tell you how far you have driven, how long, at what average speed, etc. etc. It would even take into account any stops (rest areas and such) and deduct them from the trip as long as the car was parked and the key was off. This was perfect for my mission of getting to “camp” as quickly as possible and documenting the fact to Paula.

So, with directions in hand and the trip computer set, I was off and running. My directions seemed to be pretty clear. I was to follow route 495 north until it intersected with route 95 north. At that point I should continue to follow route 95/495 and then get on the Maine Turnpike. Now, I don’t know what it’s like in other parts of the country, but here in New England we like to try and confuse our drivers by giving each highway at least two names. This way, someone can refer to the road as Route 95 or the Maine Turnpike (take your pick.) It’s kind of like when you’re driving in Boston you can be on Route 95 or Route 128 (in some places they are two different roads, in others they are one and the same.) I’m sure this made lots of sense to someone when they were planning things; I just can’t seem to figure it out.

Here I am, flying up 95 North having made it to Portland in about 50 minutes and I have to pull over to look at my map (as I tried to make clear in the first part of this post, I’m not that good with a map.) After fumbling around with it for 5 minutes I simply gave up and fell back on my old standby. I called my always able and available assistant; Bob (that would be my dad.) After heckling me for a few minutes on being unable to find my you know what with a map and a flashlight, he explained that the Maine Turnpike, route 495 and 95 north are/were one in the same (they aren’t anymore as the names have since been changed again.) He further explained that it didn’t matter which route I took as the two roads would join back together in 50 miles or so.

Ok, great! However, if there are two roads, both ending at the same destination, which one is the fastest/shortest? Turns out the answer has nothing to do with miles or distance. The fastest driving distance between two points is the one with the least amount of speed traps! This is a simple and unbreakable rule of the road. Fortunately for me, my “assistant” was able to point me in the right direction (the turnpike has fewer speed traps than the “other” route so it’s faster even if the “other” route is seven miles shorter) and I was once again off and running.

My next post completes this never ending saga on getting to Maine and then look for a new start here at Campliving.com with the addition of my fellow blogger Randall from TheCandidacy.com

Okay, it obviously takes a lot less time to get there than it is taking me to finish this post. My apologies to everyone who has written looking for the next installment. I promise to be back onto a regular posting schedule next week. Thanks for the concern and encouragement. More to follow soon, John

Answer: Depends on who you ask.

I met Paula (my wife) in the winter of 1996.  She invited me to her family’s “camp” that following summer for the 4th of July holiday.  I was excited at the prospect of spending a few days in Maine with my new girlfriend but also a little apprehensive as her family would be there as well. 

At the time, Paula’s entire family would take the week (that surrounded the 4th of July) off from work as a family vacation.  So, my invitation was for the 4th and 5th.  Paula, her parents and siblings would go up on their own prior to my arrival.  This meant I would need to drive on my own and meet up with them in the middle of their vacation.  To most, this is no big deal, but to anyone that knows me, I’m the reason they invented GPS and couldn’t find my way home from the neighbors without it.  You can imagine my consternation at the idea of having to navigate my way deep into central Maine with nothing more than some directions from my future wife and a map.

When I asked Paula how long I should plan on for the trip, she replied that their normal travel time was 3 1/2 to 4 hours. Hmmm… This should have been my first clue that something was amiss. You see, in preparing for the trip I had already looked at the map. From my home to their camp was just a little more than 100 miles in a straight line and slightly more than 140 miles via highways and byways. Even if I averaged a very slow speed of 50 Mph it should still be less than 2 1/2 hours. Something didn’t make sense. When I pointed this discrepancy out, all I got was a shoulder shrug and a “that’s how long it takes”. Asked and answered.

Undeterred, I got on the road and started to drive. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m not a slow driver. I was determined to get there quickly and make it clear that you could do so in a reasonable time (to me a reasonable time meant two hours or under). Anything longer and you’re wasting your weekend. I don’t know why I felt the need to prove this point, but just seemed like it needed to be done….

This is the first part of a multi-part story (not sure how long it’s going to turn out). Part II to follow next week!!

Campliving.com is about relaxing and enjoying your vacation or seasonal home. For the last two weeks or so, I’ve gotten away from that. So, in an effort to bring things back to where they belong I bring you the following video that have absolutely nothing to do with your seasonal home or enjoying it (unless you want Grandma to help you secure it).

For whatever reason, this just struck me as super funny. I’m sure we’ll get some sort of comment from “Joniknows” as she most likely won’t approve

Next week, I promise, back to basics with the following post: Question: How long does it take to get to Maine? Answer: Depends on who’s driving!